So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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