I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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