i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Everything about him screamed your future.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
