i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
