Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
