I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
