You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
