She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
