i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
