i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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