i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
