ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
