he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
