Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
