I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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