I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
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