Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
