So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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