that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
