I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
