it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
