We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
