So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
