Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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