yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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