I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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