so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize