you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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