What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
