margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
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I have grass duct taped all over my body
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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