also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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