I just cut my nipple shaving
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
jump out the window naked night went bad
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
