Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
