Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
