I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize