Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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