***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
