Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
