ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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