Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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