Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
