So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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