Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
it's great music for shaving your balls
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
