i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
not ubering you a puppy
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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