Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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