We named our party play list daddy issues
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Randomize
