My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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