He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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