So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
