No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
