I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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