woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
