I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
