I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Please don't give away my fajitas
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
