I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
