wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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