You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
