Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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