i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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